a start

My husband decided to make his famous coffee milkshakes last night.. probably much later than we should have had all that caffeine. But as usual, totally worth it. Needless to say, I stayed awake much later than I would have preferred. With all the quietness I started thinking about possible blog topics.. "blopics" .. hmm? So.. here goes..

On the most recent Grey's episode, one of the patients was an elderly woman who would not die.. eventually she did.. and when she passed, all I could see or think about was my Grandmommie. They way the patient was laying, on her side, hunched over, her frail, bony fingers. That's how Grandmommie looked the last few years of her life. She passed away back in January. We had been expecting this for a while, she had battled Parkinson's for about 5 years. Even though, when you know it's coming and you prepare every visit to be the last.. it's still shocking and painful. She was my only grandmother, and the best grandmother. Ever.

A chapter closed in my life after the death of Grandmommie and, six weeks later, my D-Dad. When my mom left my dad in high school, everything changed. But Grandmommie and D-Dad continued our family traditions of Sunday Dinner and, when my father wasn't there, my grandparents were. Concerts, award programs, a car.. most high school memories include my grandparents. Around the time I was leaving for college, D-Dad began having strokes and was later diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We had also found out Grandmommie had Parkinson's, this being after she successfully survived breast cancer and a masectomy.

It seemed each time I came home to visit, they had both taken dramatic steps into their diseases. On one visit, D-Dad greeted me at the door and asked, "Hey! Who are you?!" I replied, "You know who I am!" I thought nothing of it at the moment. D-Dad was known for his teasing and humor.. I know I got it from him.. and I thought that was his way of getting at me for not visiting as often as I should. We we sat down with Grandmommie and talked for a bit, only for D-Dad to tell us a little later that he really didn't recognize me at the door. That was the first hurt. To know that this disease was real.

With Grandmommie, her legs and hands would shake constantly. I found it sweet when D-Dad would hold her hands so the shaking wouldn't be as noticeable.

I think it was easier for me to adjust with their deaths because I mostly remember the "real" Grandmommie and D-Dad. The Grandmommie that could sew anything I asked for, made the best homemade hot chocolate, and made me feel like her favorite grandchild out of the ten of us. Even though I knew I really was.. at least for a good 8 years because I was the baby. I always wished Marshall could have known D-Dad. They would have shared a passion together for wood working and projects. I could see them drinking Coke and having a Hershey bar. But D-Dad was far gone around the time Marshall showed up. D-Dad would have made him laugh, too.

On a lighter note, I have become a pro at making homemade ravioli. And finding tops for $3-4.00. Oh and $60.00 pictures frames for $6.00! Now I just have to work on the do I really need this or do I just want the good deals? part...

a fresh beginning

I always have good intentions when I begin a new blog/journal/whatever.. hopefully we'll see where this goes. I have some good friends that may assist in making this somewhat successful and perhaps have a purpose. Again.. we'll see.

Where could this go? Options..

• 29 minute meals.. because I'm that much better than you, Rachael Ray..
• Baby stuff.. umm.. we'll see..
• Marshall says home improvement projects.. maybs.. if he decides he wants to contribute to the trend.
• Transitioning to small town life.
• Or I could have the most amazing blog devoted to my wonderful dogs!

If you have suggestions, let me know.. because I'm not good at this.