a long time coming.

It's been nine months. Nine months since Marshall and I started trying to conceive a second Marshanda. Another Hartley, I'm hoping. :)

But it's been nine months. I was supposed to have had another by now. It was supposed to be easy.

Nine months. Going on ten, if you're counting. I know I am.

And I know this is nothing compared to our friends and family that have been trying for years. But it still hurts month after month. I've held my emotions strong enough to stay strong for others. To pray for them.. and then for myself.

When Marshall and I went off birth control in February, I was convinced God had been speaking to me about trusting him. His plans. Supposedly, I thought, his plans to expand our family. And so I've been second guessing Him for several months now.

Month after month. Question after question. Why?

And still nothing.

Except celebrating pregnancies for others.  Woo to the hoo.

Le sigh.

We started clomid this month. Mainly in an effort to get a jumpstart on ovulating. After monitoring my BBT for the past 2 months, there's an indication that my luteal phase is shorter than normal and my temperature doesn't spike as much as it should.

And then there are the dreams.

The dreams that I am pregnant. I can feel movement. I can see a hand slide across my abdomen.

And Marshall even had a dream. The boy that never dreams, did an ultrasound and saw the clear face of a boy.

I never imagined how painful this was. Emotionally. And I have to remind myself, this is nothing. We have a beautiful Hartley. We're blessed beyond belief.

We're waiting.

a few videos and pics

I thought I'd upload some recent videos and pictures because we have a certain Wibb ,,,s d,    ˙˜© ˙©˙ ( = ,  /.,                          /(G ft ?  (thank you Hartley...). Anyway.. here's some stuff . 

Among other news, we have a prissy tomboy. Fingernail polish and trucks. And tractor driving, too.

I got new boots and Hartley approves!

One of Hartley's favorite things to do is "help" cook. She stands up in her chair and says "I cook! I cook!"

I usually just give her some utensils, bowls, and water. This evening I'm pretty sure she drank diluted milk/cream of mushroom. And she made me try it, too.

I'm really excited about our Christmas card! We went down to the cotton fields over the weekend and attempted to get some good shots of Hartley. While we didn't get many good pictures, our cards have already been ordered and I'm so excited!

She was not cooperating.

She was more excited about the motorcycles she heard.

I love my new boots!!

I think this was my favorite shot of H. I wish she would smile for the camera!

Well, if you let her sit in the front seat (off road) she will smile!

I seriously can't wait for our cards to come in! I made them using picnik and then printed them from Snapfish. I've also designed a return address "stamp" that I just might post about.. and take orders.

And someone has found my stash of ribbon. Bye!